It’s easy to get caught up in the world. In the expectations and demands of others. In the chaos that currently surrounds us. Everyone and everything is pulling for your time and attention. They want to sell you something, convince you their way is right, or pressure you to be there for them.
Last night, while teaching Reclaim Your Body as Holy, a woman talked about the shifts she is experiencing. A fantastic artist, she realized, “How much of this am I doing for me?”
It is an excellent question, one that can easily be applied to relationships, work, performance, even our physical health.
Are we trying to look better and lose weight so other people will find us attractive? Or are we doing it because it makes us feel that much better inside?
Are we performing, singing, dancing, speaking, or teaching what we “think” others want to hear and see? Or are we offering our own truest joy in its fullest expression?
Are we pleasing our partners, adjusting our lives or schedules to them, while neglecting our own needs? Or are we giving them devoted quality time when we also desire it?
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of making others happy. We give them what they want and feel “good” about it. But what if it leaves us feeling depleted? What if giving them what they want is actually hurting us in the process?
Clearly, there’s nothing wrong with making others happy. It brings great joy to the heart – but only when we are giving from a place of worth and abundance, not from lack or need.
Let me explain. When we seek to make another happy because we want their approval, or love, or to “keep the peace,” we are operating from a place of lack. We need them to give us something. Each time we do this, we give them power by letting them decide for us. In the meantime, we feel drained because it’s not really what we want to do. Our internal well begins to run dry.
Give yourself permission to be there for you. As you meet your own needs and give yourself pleasure – solely for your own benefit – your well will never run dry. Love and joy will continue to overflow effortlessly from your being. Another’s approval becomes unnecessary. You know your worth, and you honor it.
When we do what brings us happiness, it rolls over naturally to those who surround us. They feel our happiness, and it elevates their own mood. If it doesn’t, especially in relationships, then it’s probably because they prefer to “take” from you, rather than see you revel in your own delight. Why would you allow that if you love yourself?
© Jessica Falcon 2020.
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