Your relationship with yourself is the only permanent, lasting relationship you will ever have. I know, it’s easy to get distracted or pulled in different directions. Work. Partners. Family. Friends. We often put them first, or find ourselves compromising our own needs to make them happy.
It seems we are conditioned to believe putting ourselves first is selfish. Or that time spent meditating is a luxury. Society tries to convince us our problems will be solved when the virus goes away, a new president takes office, our salary is increased, or our partner changes. Our focus is kept outward.
But there’s always another thing. A problem to fix. A challenge to overcome. Anger or frustration builds. Peace is out of reach.
Because the relationship we have with our internal world is the golden ticket for experiencing the connection, depth and joy we desire. It will not come from outside of us. It does not depend on external circumstance. It is not up to someone or something else to make us happy.
How we relate with ourselves determines how we relate with our partner, job, family, friends, money, food, stress and sex. We perceive the world – what is happening outside – and interpret events as “good” or “bad.” We get caught up in external circumstance and forget we need time to process how it affects us. What are our feelings? Are our needs getting met? How does our soul perceive the situation? Is there a bigger lesson?
When are eyes are limited to physical circumstance, we lose sight of the big picture. As our eyes open to the perspective of our soul, suddenly “bad” circumstances become our greatest teachers. The partner who refuses to honor your boundary? You can blame him, or you can ask, “How does this help me honor myself?” “What do I fear in standing up for myself?” “What are my own limits?” “Is there something I need to hear?”
Perhaps underneath the surface lies a boiling rage. Perhaps it has been there a very long time. Perhaps it is beckoning you to see: You are putting other people first. You do not want to be “nice.” Your truth aches to be heard. No longer can you hide any aspect of yourself.
They don’t like you? No problem. Guess what? You will not change for them. You know it is not necessary anymore to seek permission from him or anyone else to be who you are.
Sure, you’re willing to look at your flaws. Imperfections. Mistakes. You will admit when you are wrong. That’s different than apologizing for what you want or need.
Your needs matter. Too often, they’re conditioned to be what others have told us we need. That’s where the inner work comes in. Can you release your attachment to what you “think” you need? Clear your mind long enough to drop down into your womb. Pay attention. Listen. Receive.
What does she want? Your soul? She will not tell you to turn on the news. I would be seriously shocked if that were the case. She wants you to hear all the incessant thoughts and get down to the root of them. She wants you to discover the beliefs that are holding you back from asserting your voice or acknowledging your power.
She knows if you listen to her – your highest truth – and act on it, you can’t help but feel joyful. The struggle occurs when we see circumstances as happening to us instead of learning the purpose they hold in our lives.
P.S. The shift from an external perspective to an internal one is not an easy transition, particularly in our society. If you want to be raw, and real, and free, I offer personal sessions to help you create deep inner freedom. Click here for more information.
P.P.S. I’m excited to announce the start date of Reclaim Your Voice as Your Power, a 5-week LIVE online course. We will gather together in circle beginning Tuesday, January 12, 2021 at 7 p.m. EST/4 p.m. PST. This is for you if you want to access your inner voice, confront fears that silence you, know you are worthy of expressing yourself, honor your boundaries, and create what you want. The course is raw, intimate and deep. To learn more, click here.
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