Have you ever been in the middle of a relationship and asked yourself, “What happened? Where did I go?”
It starts subtly, like pretending you agree with your partner, even though you know inside it’s not true. In fact, you adamantly disagree but fear sharing your own opinion because it might “upset him.” Or hiding parts of yourself your partner doesn’t like to make sure you’re seen in a “good light.” It’s not that you’re trying to deceive anyone, you just don’t want to hurt other people. You may even be responsible for how they feel or take on their feelings as your own and be unable to separate the two.
That’s how I felt in almost every single relationship for most of my life.
As a “bulldog in a skirt” criminal prosecutor, I felt powerful in the courtroom. In personal relationships, however, I was crippled with self-doubt. In the courtroom, it wasn’t me people were seeing; it was my intellect. My position of authority served as a fortress against attack. Inside, I felt soft and tender, and vulnerable.
Often, I felt afraid of what others would think about me. Usually, I was “too much” or “too sensitive.” I took in everything they said and made it my own. Without knowing it, I saw myself through the eyes of others rather than seeing myself through my own eyes.
Over time, I realized this is my power. This is my path of healing: To see me. To hear me. To honor me. Only then could I truly embrace who I was, not who others wanted me to be. I developed my own existence, not based on society or expectations, or even obligations, but on my soul’s truth. It took getting into my body, accessing my heart’s wisdom, and returning to my feminine roots.
I learned how to place myself equal to those around me, not underneath or above. To know my own holiness was to recognize it in others. My relationships either improved or slipped away. I’m not going to tell you that full self-acceptance is an easy path. It’s not.
There are dark caves and tunnels to traverse because lies can no longer take hold. All of the old beliefs and absorbed social conditioning must be uprooted, one gnarly root at a time. You must be willing to see the truth. Sometimes it hurts, but you learn how to lick your own wounds. You see yourself – and the world – with new eyes.
You finally feel completely free to be you. This is how we embody our power, know our boundaries, and reclaim our voice.
It’s not an intellectual process, nor is it a linear line of healing. It is a full reclamation of who you are and the largeness inside of you. It’s a unification of body and soul into one whole beautiful being who knows how to radically embody love rather than seeking to obtain it from others at the expense of herself.
It’s time for women to learn how to reclaim their own feminine soul and place themselves equal to others. If you’re ready to embody your divinity so you feel fully alive, sensual, and free, let’s connect to see if the Portals of Transformation I offer are a good fit for you (they’re 10% off until August 10!). Sign up below to receive weekly videos, tips, and blogs.