We fear our anger, but it fuels our desire to change. Sometimes, anger is necessary. It says, “Wake up. Open your eyes. Stop playing small.”
Anger rises when we have been ignored. Rejected. Made invisible. Or when we feel powerless.
Anger warns us when others try to overstep our boundaries.
Anger yells, “Hey you! Stop thinking you can walk all over me!”
Because I Am Here. I will be recognized. I will be reckoned with. I am not invisible, and I am not powerless.
The power is not over the other person – even if we might desire to hurt or punish them for the way they have treated us. The power is in our ability to say, “No.” “I deserve more.” “I have a right to be here.” “I am worthy of love.”
Too often, we push our anger down. We tell ourselves it is unspiritual, or of a “lower vibration.” Just “let it go.” “It’s all good.” “No worries.”
Is that true?
Ask yourself, whenever you desire to push your anger down and away, “Is that really true for me?” Or am I lying to myself? Is it really okay?”
Sometimes things aren’t okay. Anger alerts us to a violation. It is a divine messenger. She says, “Stop and look at me. See what I am offering you.”
Anger gives us truth, which is why we usually prefer to lie. It can feel more comfortable. Sometimes a lie feels safer, like “It’s not a problem.” It avoids conflict. It pacifies. It prohibits change.
If you deny anger, it’s probably because you fear the truth of its message. Then, another layer of anger appears over self-betrayal. Because you have just accepted a lie and kept yourself small. That is not your power. The powerlessness you accept only fuels the anger. Over time, it creates rage.
If you really want to “get rid of anger” in your life, then look it straight in the eye. Tell it you are willing to see, to hear, to know your deepest truth. I promise, it will be revealed.
I believe anger is fuel for making change necessary to create equality in relationships, be they familial, friends or intimate partners. Check out private coaching here if you want a guide as you rebirth yourself anew.