I realized I have been taking something for granted. Because I’ve been doing deep healing work with my own body for almost 10 years now, I forgot to talk about the most essential piece. Tonight, I begin teaching the Reclaim Your Body as Holy course. While reflecting this morning with a cup of delicious green tea, it dawned on me. If I do not explain this necessary and fundamental step, people new to my work may not understand why going into the body is so incredibly important.
It’s easy for me to “get it” because I have experienced it. Words are often inadequate for expressing deep mysteries. We try to form sentences that capture the unspeakable but always come up short. Words define what cannot be defined. Yet, I continue to try.
Most of us are raised – at least in the western world – in a society that focuses on intellectual achievement. We are informed of the benefits of reason, logic and analysis. I’m queen of this. My lawyer-trained mind loves to wrangle ideas back and forth. It can dissect the same concept over and over or find ways to justify almost anything.
While growing up, I achieved honors and awards for my mental capacity. It gave me recognition and praise. Not only did it provide me the opportunity to be “seen” – when I often felt invisible – it also provided some fun perks. Each time I earned another star for reading books, I got my own personal pan pizza.
Sadly, my body only received negative attention, in contrast to the positive reinforcement my mind received. It didn’t take long to fully ingest the message: My body was bad, and my mind was good. Moving into my teenage years, I came to hate the dense, heavy “thing” I had to carry around. All of my attention resided up in the head. It was a much safer place to be anyway. The body exposed me to feelings and pain I didn’t have tools to process.
Fast-forward to my post-graduate days. At that point, I’d become a regular exerciser and felt slightly more comfortable in my body. However, it was still something I had to “dominate” or “control.” Left to its own devices, I believed my body would betray me. It was “beneath me,” after all.
When I left the legal profession and ventured to Europe, I later found myself immersed in an intimate relationship. Never before had I let my guard down so much. Most men I dated had been kept at arm’s distance. They were not my priority. Without a profession to occupy me, or a home, or a goal, or friends, my partner and I quickly became codependent.
I could blame it on the circumstances. I was isolated in a foreign country and no longer had anything familiar to which I could cling. Yet, I now know that would be a lie. The extreme circumstances forced me to reckon with the inner world I had tried so hard to ignore. It was the world of my subconscious mind. Which meant it was the world of my body.
My body. This “thing” I had carried around suddenly became the only thing I had left. My conscious mind, or intellect, found itself going in circles. It could reason and justify everything I experienced, but it left me in complete inner turmoil. Every rationalization dug me deeper into a hole of misery.
Each time I apologized for myself, or denied my truth, my body roared inside. Eventually, I began to listen. In part, because I had no choice. It kept screaming at me through pain, infections, fatigue, exhaustion. Once I finally opened my ear to the “Great Below” – the cave of my own body – the confusion lessened. My body knew how I really felt, despite my verbal denials or repeated “it’s okay” statements.
It was not okay.
Nothing was okay.
My body worked so hard to get me to listen because it knew my mind would keep me in familiar, unhealthy loops of self-rejection. It refused to allow it anymore. My soul was ready to free me from lifetimes of repression. My body was the gateway to this liberation.
Let me stop here. Because this is essential to understand: The body is not a dense, heavy thing. The body is not a purely physical object. Yes, I know we are taught it is. But we have been hidden from the truth.
Our body is comprised of trillions of cells. They are constantly moving, vibrating and interacting. Each cell has proteins which store things like beliefs and memories, even those passed down to us. Science, however, cannot explain the miraculous nature of the body or how it actually works. It attempts to describe the functioning, but has no understanding of the “how” or “why.”
We have separated the body from the soul which inhabits it. We are told to ignore or deny or dominate the body to “be spiritual.” Yet, the body cannot be separated from its source. God-Creator-Source – whatever you want to call it – is in each and every cell.
The body is pure energy. When we consciously go into our body, we can pull through information from our own soul – and from All That Is. We access the deepest truths. We hear more than can be explained with the rational mind. We face and transform limited beliefs. We become wise instead of smart.
I kept forgetting to mention this piece. I don’t teach going into the body to “lose weight” or “look good” or even to “feel good.” We go into the body to know ourselves. It is where we hear the voice of our soul. It is where we confront the subconscious beliefs that try to maintain control over us. It is where we connect deeply with our source.
If the mind and body do not work together, we will find ourselves in turmoil and despair and confusion. We will feel lost. All the distress I experienced was worth it, though. It eventually led me to discover and use my own inner compass. For that, I am eternally grateful. I wish the same for you.
© Jessica Falcon 2020.
My birthday is next week, so I’m conjuring up something special to offer you! Stay tuned for details. If you missed my latest FB Live on Shame, watch it here. I’ll be giving a live talk the third Thursday of each month.
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